Pink Saturday, Number Two

A delicate pink flower, floating with a handful of other flowers in a birdbath, not meant for birds at all. A tropical breeze, the scent of gardenias in the air....and all around us, butterflies. Surely the stuff of fairy tales...but we were there, butterflies floating through the air all around us.  Magic.  Proof of G-d in the world.

A showy hibiscus, perched just at eye height.  One of the largest, brightest pink blossoms I've ever seen.  Perhaps it was jealous of the lovely butterflies and wanted to make sure it was noticed. 

My pink Saturday gifts to the rest of you.  I will take a look at your blogs on Sunday, after Shabbat. In the meantime, a joyful, peaceful, renewing Sabbath to all, however you observe it. 

Pink, Pink, Pink!

My Pink Saturday post didn't post!  Resending/reposting it today!  

The post below was supposed to go up on Saturday.  I set it to automatically go up, because Saturday is the Sabbath (Shabbat) for me.  No blog writing, no computers. But the autopost didn't work...so here it is, late.   Hopefully next week will be on time!

Today is the first day I'm participating in Pink Saturday. It's a weekly celebration from How Sweet The Sound, a wonderful art blog. 

Given the name of the blog, how perfect is it that the picture comes from one of the sweetest places on the planet, Walt Disney world. 

Just outside of the parks, there's an area called Downtown Disney.  And one of the shops there is all Legos!  I love Legos!  But when I was growing up, Legos came in only a few colors...red, blue, white, black and yellow.  Green, too, I think. Other colors existed, but only in the kits, and then for only a few special pieces. But it wasn't until my daughters were born that I saw Legos in pink and purple...what are considered "girls colors."

I wasn't sure at first whether to be excited that "our" colors were finally included, or insulted that someone might have thought that Legos had to be pink and purple for girls to like them.  I settled on being happy, because studies have shown that kids who play with Legos are more successful in math, language and science. And if it takes pink and purple Legos, so be it. Besides, it gave us more colors to play with!

So when I walked into the store with my kids, imagine my joy in finding not just boxes of Legos, but giant clear bins filled with Legos, including the lovely pink ones!  So here is my tribute to Pink Saturday and the fun of Legos. Happy Weekend, everyone!

Be open to the questions, be wary of getting stuck in details

I just read an amazing post suggested by one of my Facebook friends.  Rabbi Yossi's article, Facing the light - behaalosecha is printing right now so I can think more about it tomorrow on Shabbat. This is not a "glance at it for a couple of minutes before I run out the door" post. So I want to do it justice.  But I also wanted to share it before Shabbat, in case anyone else wants to print it now and read it tomorrow.

I cannot summarize it yet...there is too much, but here are a few points that have my thoughts occupied...

Instead of searching for complete truth and revelation, people the world over revere small bits and pieces of truth and hold them sacred. This closes them off from discovery of truths that exist beyond their limited space. The strength of their attachments often prevents them from letting go of superfluous behaviors and beliefs that limit their connection to the larger universal order.

and

My grandfather told me that the main thing is the question, not the answer. Questions cause us to search in places where we may not have checked previously to find answers. This enables us to be open to what we may not have thought about or understood prior to searching. Easy “pat” answers pacify us and discourage us from searching further to find the truth.  

Don't just stop with those two...there is so much more.  Shabbat shalom :-)

Feeling blue...but not sad

I've always wondered why we say someone who is sad is "feeling blue." After all, blue is the color of the sky and the sea and some incredibly beautiful flowers and birds....

So today, I'm challenging that idea, with some blue photos that are anything but sad.


The first one is my blue chair. I bought this chair on a whim one day when there was a concert coming up in Long's Park in Lancaster. I usually took blankets to outdoor concerts so my kids could stretch out and relax while we listened. But they were away that night, and I was going solo. So I stopped and bought myself a yummy picnic supper. Then I saw the chair, and added it to my cart. That was the first night in my chair -- sunset, great music, a beautiful park and a delicious supper. In this picture, the chair is on the balcony of my home in Florida. It became a place to listen to the breeze in the trees, and enjoy a cup of tea at the end of the day, or read a book on a Shabbat morning. Now my chair is in the back yard of our home...the home I now share with my kids and a new husband. And it's still a Shabbat morning refuge, a welcome escape from the stress of the week. A blue chair? Yes. Sad. No way.


These are the Wasatch Mountains in Utah. I lived at the base of these mountains for years -- blue sky, blue water. Bluest sky. Bluest water. Nothing sad there.








Aw, come on! Walt Disney World! The incredible Orlando sky, dotted with fluffy white clouds. Lots of blue. Even the roof gables and turrets are blue. Not a trace of sadness!


One more...Mother's Day 2009 at Butterfly World. Yes, I know this isn't a butterfly. But it is a beautiful bit of blue! This bird was fascinated by my hair band...it landed on my shoulder, and decided to stay awhile. And even though it didn't succeed in getting the band loose, I don't think it was sad, even with its brilliant blue head.


So I am feeling blue today...blue like the sky and the mountain lake and the ocean...not a bad way to spend a Tuesday :-) Do you have a blue photo you want to share? Send me a link to your blog for Tuesday Blues, and we could make this a regular feature!

The rest of the story...

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a blog post about what I've learned from my friends of many faiths. But I forgot to add something very important to that post...I never said what I've learned from my own religion.

Why the omission? Maybe because to me, the answers are obvious. They are a part of my very being. And maybe, just a little, it's because my focus is almost always on healing the separations and bridging the gaps that drive us apart on the basis of religion. Or maybe it's a fear that my words will come across as "We have this and you don't" -- and that's not what I believe.

Whatever the reason, I am happy to be where I am, and better-late-than-never, here is the rest of the story...

From being a Jew, and from my Jewish friends and family, I've learned:

Don't pay attention to the numbers or the odds. No matter how unlikely it may seem, or how the odds are stacked against you, if it really matters, anything is possible.

Asking questions matters. Anyone can accept a creed on blind faith or because someone in authority says it's so. But the real test is when you can take it all apart, and look at it 10 ways and still find that the core holds solid. And it's not only okay to ask questions, it's part of the plan.

The small stuff counts. Forget the common wisdom about not sweating the small stuff, because those details make ALL the difference. How you treat someone begging on the street, how you deal with receiving too much change at the drive-through window, or how you look at a rainbow or the food on your plate or the doorway of your house all come together to shape the big picture. Unless you pay attention to the tiny pieces of the mosaic, the big picture will never come together.

Even the big external practices can change without destroying what counts in the heart and soul. Ironically, the big things often matter less than the little ones. We lost the Temples, and all the practice and ritual that was centered there, and kept on going. We lost our collective home, and wandered the world, and kept on going. We lost our freedom, but kept the faith. We were imprisoned and killed by the millions, but kept on marrying and raising families, as a symbol of hope. We changed the role of women and radically rewrote the words we use to address G-d, and yet stayed the course where it really mattered.

Ethics matter. The more I study and learn, the more I see the teaching is less about ritual than it is about ethics. So mouthing the right words or showing up at the right time isn't nearly as important as caring for the earth and other people and being an example of good and upright behavior.

There are things beyond what we can see, write down, or categorize. There is, without a doubt, so much out there/in here/all around/in us/ that we cannot even conceive of. And that there is a reason G-d gave the Torah outdoors, because in nature we can see/feel things that can never happen in a closed room or a book.

And a new lesson... Something truly beyond words and beyond comprehension happens under the Chuppah. It's not just getting married...there is more happening there. And that opens up worlds of possibilities.

I know many of you have received these same lessons from your faith, from your family. I do not doubt that for one nano-second. But I wanted to share the lessons I've learned from my path -- and THAT is the rest of the story.

100 things about Central PA and Birthday Memories

On my birthday, I'm thinking about birthdays past, when I celebrated with my three children in Pennsylvania, sharing a picnic of PB & J and chips and carrots and fruit by the Susquehanna River. Those years went by quickly. And this year, my son is far away and I will celebrate with my two daughters and my new husband near different water in TY Park. I love birthday picnics. And I'm hoping the menu is the same -- but I'll miss the fun of playing on the playground at the end of City Island with the kids, and wading in the chilly spring water.

In honor of those memories, here's a taste of what life is like in Central PA. This list lives in a link on the side of this blog...but I'm adding it here in the main page today. If you've lived in PA., you may recognize some of these things. If you've visited, you may catch a few. But if you've never been there, trust me, this is ALL true!

1) The great diners of America are alive and well in almost every town here

2) Fire departments are staffed by volunteers and paid for through pancake breakfasts and chicken barbeques

3) About 70% of the people here have lived here their whole life. As did their parents. Possibly in the same house. Probably in the same neighborhood.

4) The Amish (pronounced om'-ish, not A'-mish) are leaving in droves because the population and building boom in the area has made the area too expensive for their simple lifestyle.

5) If you move here, you will pay more kinds of taxes than you ever imagined could exist...Federal taxes, State income taxes, county taxes, local (city) taxes, school taxes, property taxes (no, they are not the same!), occupation taxes and head taxes!

6) Local delicacies include scrapple, a patty made from a ground mixture of everything usually not eaten off a pig, dipped in flour and deep fried.

7) And stuffed pig stomach...no description needed. Or wanted.

8) And fastnachts -- a delicious calorie laden potato donut, served especially just before Lent on Fastnacht Day

9) And fresh apple cider and schintzle (dried apple slices)

10) In many areas, there are still more cows than people

11) It is breath-takingly beautiful on a foggy spring or summer morning when you look out over the farmland and valleys.

12) The milk is fresh...really fresh. Like from the day before.

13) If your car breaks down along the road, 6 people will pull over to help you. No matter what the weather. And will not take a dime for helping.

14) Summers here make summers in South Florida look like a cold wave...count on upper 90's and not a breeze in sight for months. Even at night.

15) The snow makes great snowmen, snowforts and snowballs

16) Great scrapbook stores, especially Times to Remember in Hershey

17) The air really does smell like chocolate everyday in Hershey

18) Tuesday is Market Day, when you can buy fresh vegies, fruits, cheeses and almost everything else for your week at huge open air farmer's markets in the cities and in the rural areas. Some are open on Saturday too. A few on Wednesdays.

19) Don't plan on doing anything on Sunday after 4 pm. Almost everything will be closed. Except the diners. (See #1, above)

20) Front door locks are optional

21) You can live 15 miles from the nearest grocery store and locals will consider your home to be "in town"

22) It's the only place in the world where you can stand at the corner of Chocolate and Cocoa, and have them be real streets.

23) All of the Amish information centers and tourist attractions are run by Mennonites

24) Horses and buggies still share the road with cars

25) If someone asks if you're from Perry County (and you're not), you've just been insulted

26) If you are, sorry!

27) The words "leave" and "let" are interchangable. So you may "Let your daughter go to the mall" or "Leave her go to the mall." Same meaning.

28) Gardens grow almost by magic. The soil is amazing.

29) So do weeds

30) The most famous city in the area is pronounced "Lang'-ka-ster", not "Lan-ca-ster". The latter is a late actor. No relation.

31) Something is close by if it's less than 40 miles away. Really.

32) Except cities. They are far even if they're less than 20 miles away.

33) The nickname for this area of Pennsylvania is "Pennsyl-tucky."

34) Townships are the most important form of local goverment. Counties are seldom mentioned except at tax time. Townships are smaller than a country, and may cover several towns.

35) Villages are a legitimate government designation for a locale smaller than a town...I lived in one. Population 54. No kidding.

36) Birch Beer, a non-alcoholic soda is made locally -- and is very popular at all local fests and gatherings

37) Having a house that's over 150 years old is no biggie...most of them are

38) My house was 227 years old

39) The paved roads (except the highways) are mostly the old farm paths that led between the farms or from the farms to the market. So they are winding and quaint. And narrow.

40) In the early 1900's there used to be a trolley line from Elizabethtown to Hershey.

41) Now there is not even a bus. So much for progress.

42) You cannot tour the Hershey Factory anymore.

43) But you can ride a very Disney-esque simulation ride, complete with dancing cows and animatronic hershey kisses.

44) And get a free mini candy bar at the end of the ride

45) If someone says that they "Redded up their house", it means they cleaned it completely, not that they painted it crimson

46) Soft pretzels are HUGE and delicious

47) The oldest pretzel bakery in the US is here in Lititz, PA

48) You can actually try making a traditional twisted pretzel there

49) Your "ticket" for the tour is a pretzel! A real one

50) For a rural area, there is a suprising amount of religious diversity

51) Except in the schools, where major tests, competitions and field trips are often scheduled on the holiest of Jewish and Muslim holidays.

52) Lots of the women here are named Rachel, Sarah and Rebecca

53) The autumn colors are amazing. Who needs New England?

54) You can meet an amazing number of adults who have lived there their entire life, and have never been to Baltimore (about 45 minutes away) or Washington D.C. (about 1.25 hours away.) And they are ok with that.

55) The same people who loved the area for its rural charm have moved there and are now demanding Targets and Best Buys and all the other strip mall clutter they left behind in NJ, NY and MA.

56) Unfortunately, they are getting it

57) Central PA has some of the most fertile farmland in the country

58) In another 10 years, almost all of it will be under houses, strip malls and roads.

59) You can buy produce, hay and homemade preserves from roadside honesty stands where they put out a box for you to pay for your selection.

60) And people actually pay

61) And don't steal the box

62) Lots of the men here are named Jacob, Issac, Abraham, and Samuel

63) Local elementary schools frequently have less than 200 students total

64) High schools have about 800 students.

65) You cannot go for a drive without seeing a pick-up truck.

66) Herbal medicine, accupuncture and holistic healing are very popular in the area

67) Being a vegetarian is not

68) If your family ever lived here, chances are they have a genealogy record for them in one of the historical societies

69) Harrisburg is the capital of Pennsylvania -- not Philadelphia

70) Harrisburg has a growing art community and two really cool annual waterfront art festivals

71) And a gay pride festival

72) And a film festival

73) But no good art museums

74) It's always freezing for the Harrisburg St. Patrick's Day parade...even if it was 70 degrees the day before

75) There are still weekly local newspapers

76) With headlines like "Parking too close to corner annoys local residents"

77) I know because I wrote that story

78) It was the biggest thing at the town meeting that month

79) People wrote in comments about the issue

80) For two weeks

81) Cats are a way of life if you don't want rodents in your house or barn

82) Almost every town has a really nice community pool.

83) HersheyPark has an awesome concert season

84) Locals will tell you they "moved away" for awhile...they mean to other side of the river 15 miles from where they started. But they came back.

85) Garden clubs are a major social gathering

86) For most non-locals, it's difficult to stay for more than two or three months without a trip "outside" to New York, Washington, D.C., or Philly or someplace further.

87) Local fairs are another major Central PA social gathering.

88) Pretty much everyone in the community enters something in the fair -- a pie, a quilt, a model airplane, a drawing, a pianting, a vegetable...

89) People who live there refer to their area as "Central P.A."

90) There are lots of really cool old cemeteries to explore

91) Every festival, show or public event will have a stand selling fresh hot kettlecorn.

92) It's addictive

93) Most people seem to have a dog...a big dog. Not many maltese or yorkies around

94) Blackberries grow wild every summer

95) Every school has an annual craft fair

96) They all sell the exact same crafts

97) The Amish make the most beautiful quilts ever

98) Only the tourists buy them

99) It is only sunny about 34-40 days a year. The rest of the time it's gray.

100) Outlet shopping rules in Central P. A.

Mary Chapin Carpenter - This Shirt

In the song, "This Shirt", Mary Chapin Carpenter talks about an ordinary looking shirt that to the casual eye, might just look worn out. But to her, it carries all the memories of where it's been, and how her life was at the time.

Does any one else have one of those things that carries so many memories, all in something that looks so ordinary? I would love to hear your stories, for a book idea I am working on. Thanks, all! Please pass the link to this post on, so anyone who might have a story to share can get in touch with me. (Facebook users, the link is: http://radioactivecats.blogspot.com/2010/04/mary-chapin-carpenter-this-shirt.html)

Learning from the rest...

I've always believed that each religion on earth contains a bit of the truth of G-d's plan...and that no religion has it all. We are all on our paths, selected, I believe, by G-d, to meet our needs this time around. I am Jewish, so that is my path. I've explored other faiths, but I know I'm where I belong.

But because I see the value in all the paths, I've always been open to the lessons I find in other religions. I thought it might be nice to express my gratitude for some of the gifts I've gathered from other religions, other paths to the top of the mountain.






From my Muslim friends, I've learned that there is indeed enough to be grateful for in life to pray five times each and every day. And I've learned that it is possible to move through life gracefully and with focus and beauty doing the right things and helping those in need, even when half of the country is ignorant enough to label your religion a religion of terror.

From my Christian friends, I've learned the concept of faith in action. They've demonstrated to me that words don't count and showing up at a religious service doesn't count unless you're out doing something good for G-d's people the rest of the time. Through their service projects and outreach to the hungry and abused, I learned how to really BE a child of G-d, instead of just say I am.

From my Mormon friends, I've learned the way a family can be, can feel, can interact. The countless examples they've shown me of how to build a forever-family has profoundly influenced every aspect of my parenting. What I did not learn from my family of origin, I was given instead by the LDS families I came to know.

From my Buddhist friends, I've learned how to be quiet, how to be mindful, and how to experience the moment. I've discovered the profound value in sitting still and being alone with myself, free from distraction and sound and doing.

From my Hindu friends, I've been given the knowledge that G-d can take different forms for different people, different places and different times, and yet remain in unity and wholeness.

From my Quaker friends, I've been given the gift of centering down. Of finding that quiet space amid the noise, and of being free from the need to speak just for the sake of filling the silence. I've also learned that it is possible to be completely against war, and not defend that belief from those who would call it irrational or unrealistic. It just is.

For all of these, and for the countless times that a word, an idea, an image from your faith has touched me, and inspired my growth on my own path, I say now...thank you.

Playing with my friends

On Saturday night, a group of us...about 50 or so...went to Miami MetroZoo for an after-dark experience where we got to get up close and personal with tigers, lions, a rhino and some other zoo residents.

It was like being a kid again, full of wonder as we stood FAR closer than we ever expected to these beautiful beings, and experienced the awe of sharing a space with those who are usually far, far beyond a barrier. We spoke to the animals by name, and they responded! When I called one of the camels by name, he came running back! That was so cool!

Afterwards, 11 of us went to Ruby Tuesday's for a late supper and conversation. We joked around, as we waited for our table, everyone laughing and talking about which animals they liked best and which group got to see the most animals.

As supper came to a close, a battle started at the table. I'm not sure whether it was a grape or a sugar packet that was launched first, but in seconds, lemon wedges, grapes, packets of sweetener and chips were flying. Then one person went and got a bunch of paper coasters, which became impromptu Frisbees, as they were sent flying around the table, too. The restaurant was nearly empty, so we didn't disturb any other diners. And we kept our ammunition within the confines of our table. But otherwise, it was a no-holds barred kidfest, where the only "official" kid was my daughter, age 12.

And I loved every second of it! It was wonderful to play with my friends -- even more so, to have friends who are willing to play, unconcerned about whether it makes them look silly or childish. In this world full of people afraid to smile or take a chance, it's a blessing to find people who remember G-d put us here to be happy. And that sometimes, that might involved some flying grapes.


PS...We cleaned up most of our mess, and left the waitress a VERY nice tip! Just in case you were wondering!

Good advice for a Friday...

My kids grew up in Central PA. Okay, so two of them were born in Utah, but they grew up amid corn fields and farms and cows in PA.. And another part of being a kid (or a parent of little kids) in South Central PA was going to Steven Courtney concerts.

At the schools, in the park, at FamilyFest -- there was always a Steven Courtney concert. But unlike parents in other areas who have to deal with bad music in the name of kids' concerts, Steven was and is a very talented performer.

I haven't seen one of his performances since we moved, but I recently stumbled across this video on YouTube. So I wanted to share...the perfect message for all of us, every day...enjoy.

And if you're every in Central PA, check out a Steven Courtney concert...you won't be disappointed. (If you're reading this on Facebook, click through to the original post to see the video...Facebook Notes lose the videos!)

The days of Firsts

This weekend, my new husband and I bought our first pieces of furniture together. We also bought the power tool we needed to put it together. And we celebrated our first Shabbat as guests as a married couple. A few days ago, Lance first introduced me to someone new as his wife. And at the bank on Friday, I first signed my new name on an official document.

These are the days of firsts. For the next few months, there will be many firsts. And I am happy to be both experiencing them, and paying attention to them. They represent a new beginning for both of us. As time goes on, the number of "firsts" each week will decrease. But I want to bring this kind of awareness to our lives even when the second or third or twenty-eight time comes around.

No, I don't mean I plan to count each and every time we buy a household item or attend an event together. But I do want to maintain that awareness that every day with my husband is something new and special. Everyday presents a new opportunity for us to grow together, to experience our lives together, to move deeper into lasting and forever love.

G-d brought us together -- our story makes that clear. So in return for that miracle, I want to bring to my marriage the kind of mindfulness that such a divine act deserves.

So even when the kind of firsts you write in a wedding book have long since past, I will be looking for, and celebrating, the details and experiences of my life with my forever new husband.

11 days into married life...

I am mostly exhausted. Happy, blessed, joyful, but also wiped out...

Still waiting for some down time...my days have been starting at 6:30 or 7 and I am out and doing and running around until 10 or 11 at night...

Why? The rush of the move and all of the wedding planning gave way to the rush of Pesach preparations and the rush of preparing my daughter for her trip to see her grandmother, which has been coupled with the rush of super-tight deadlines at work, on-going attempts to organize our home and the stuff of daily living.

I need a day to sit at Starbucks or under a tree like the girl in the picture and read, maybe go for a long, long, long walk, then take a nap in the sunshine, and just get my bearings back!

Unfortunately, I can't schedule a day like that until ...maybe May? June?

Can anyone loan me a day?

Sunday, 21 March 2010

On Sunday at a few minutes after 1 pm, Lance and I, and our two witnesses, signed our Ketubah -- the Jewish marriage document. This was before our ceremony, but as we finished the last signature, the Cantor announced that at that moment, we were actually married.

The ceremony that followed was beautiful and perfect and wonderful...and now we have the joy of the rest of our lives together to anticipate and enjoy.

More details later....just happy and wanted to share today :-)


There are LOTS of photos on my Facebook ....

10 days, 6 hours and 22 minutes...but who's counting?

I didn't think it would come together, but it is. A wedding in a garden. The tables and chairs are reserved and set for delivery on the 19th. The papers goods, dishes, flatware and linens are on their way. The favors are being made by Barbara at "A Little Something Extra" and the menus are ready to go. Rings, dresses, shoes, veil, flowers, all done. And in our bedroom, a corner has been taken over by vintage serving trays and hand-blown glass bowls and vintage details to adorn the tables. Some of it new, some old and bearing the patina of years or even decades of use and love.

I think I knew it would be a vintage-style wedding from the start, even though I hadn't officially chosen. Looking back on the photos I saved and the blogs I read from day 1, including Vintage Chic Bride (that's one of their photos above, BTW), I was heading in that direction. And then when we found the location...a beautiful garden setting, I just knew. And the collection began. From Home Goods to local thrift stores, I found the perfect pieces for serving tables and guest tables. The only thing I didn't find were vintage table cloths, so I settled for classic ivory linen. It will work.

After the wedding, I'm not sure what I'll do with my collection. Maybe pass some of it on to another vintage-style bride. If you're a South Florida bride-to-be planning a vintage-themed wedding, let me know, and perhaps I can share some of my finds.

But not just yet. I have a wedding of my dreams in just a few days!