Texas rain

It rained last weekend.

For those of you who aren't in Texas, that might seem like a pretty meaningless statement.  "So what", I can hear my friends and family in Florida saying. "It rains every day."

But not in Texas.  In Texas, I've learned, rain is a precious thing. Instead of an every day occurrence, it's a rare treat.

Each time rain is even a slight possibility, I become an Accuweather junkie.  I keep it on the first menu page on my phone, my tablet and my computer.  I start the TV on the Weather Channel.

My level of hope rises and falls with the number at the bottom of the page.  "20% chance on Friday.  Okay, that's better than yesterday when it was only a 10% chance for Friday.  We're going in the right direction."  Or "Heck!  It was a 60% chance for rain this weekend, but now it's only 40%. No!!!"

And when it does rain, I try to make sure I am where I can see and hear it. I don't want to miss a single moment of that wonderful moist air.

I go for walks in it. I take pictures. And then when it ends, I return to my post on Accuweather, looking for the next day without a zero at the bottom.

I miss the daily rain. I miss knowing that if I missed a chance to dance in the rain today, there was always tomorrow. Here, missing a single rain shower could mean waiting weeks for the next precious drops.

And maybe that's a lesson for me. In so many things, even things I already love like rainy days or great beaches or my family or my friends, maybe I haven't been paying enough attention. Maybe there's been too much of the "there's always tomorrow", and not enough of the "who knows when (or if) this will come again."

I hope I won't always have to live where rain is such a scarce commodity, or friends out of reach for a spur-of-the-moment lunch. But even when I am back in the world of daily rain, and when friends and family and beaches are all within reach, I hope I will remember this lesson. I hope that even in abundance, even in bounty, I will remember to be grateful for every single drop.

100 Things That Make Me Happy

Lovely, sweet-scented pink roses -- just one or an armful

I was reading Karen Ruby's blog, "A Meaningful Existence" and saw her list of 100 things that make me happy.  What a wonderful exercise to remind us of things we love, things for which we can be grateful, and things we may be neglecting or need to work on adding to our lives.  So here is my list...please create your own, and then send me a link.  I would love to read everyone's list...

This is also my Pink Saturday post for "How Sweet the Sound", because I've added photos of the things on this list that are pink...a little color amid the words!

A hug from someone I love
Walking on the beach at night
Singing along with a favorite song in the car
Being greeted at the door by my cats and dog
Waking up to a view of trees
Windy days
Having time to sit at a café and read without watching the clock
Working on my art projects

Image from candyland22

Scrapbooking
Figuring out what's wrong with a line of computer code
Finding a great new mystery writer
A new book from a favorite writer
Listening to live jazz
Getting a REAL letter in the mail
Getting a flower/flowers from someone
Cottage gardens

Learning something new that changes my view of other things
Moments of spiritual connection
Seeing someone I love across a crowded room
Kisses
Berry season
Houses with tons of natural light
Foggy mornings
The smell of fresh cut grass
Clean sheets

Image from architheque

Handmade quilts on a bed
British comedy
Well-worn wood furniture (primitives)
Old books
Old book stores
Long walks in the city
Long walks in the countryside
Seeing cows in a field
Gardenias
Watching a butterfly flying
Photographing the details on old buildings
Country fairs
Quaint old cottages

Image from Avignon-et-Provence

Quaint new cottages
Curving, hilly roads
Wide roads with lots of green
The first few notes of the overture before a show
Being backstage when the overture starts
Slices of crisp green apple and sharp cheddar cheese
Holding hands
Waking up with the one I love
Rearranging books on a shelf
Cooking without a plan
Cello music
Jazz quartets
Following a fish around while snorkeling and pretending I'm a fish, too
Poetry that does not rhyme
Wearing soft cotton clothes
Laying on the grass and watch the light change through the leaves
Seeing pictures in clouds with my kids
Flying a kite
Seeing old people holding hands
Finding just the right word for something I'm writing
Keeping up on my blog
Waking up after having a good dream
Playing a good game of tennis
Questions that really make me think
Being a mom
Being married to Lance
Petting the soft fur on my puppy's head

Her tongue is pink!  So it counts! 

Going to a football game or baseball game
The smell of spice, pumpkin or autumn-scented candles
Stepping on crunchy leaves
Having a cat on my lap while I read
Having a challenging new assignment at work
Getting rid of things I do not need
Finishing all the laundry and seeing the clean piles
Making a pie with a woven top and seeing it come out of the oven
Finding a good new blog to follow
The feeling of long silk skirts against my skin
Buying pretty shoes
Having a clean, organized purse
Really getting into a prayer-mindfulness
Getting a difficult yoga position right
Seeing the message in a Torah portion (which may not be the one others see!)
Cool evenings
Snuggling under the covers to go to sleep on a chilly night
Putting on socks when my feet are cold

Wearing soft hoodies
Having extra money in the bank at the end of the month
Going out for breakfast
Al fresco dining for any meal
Getting a new lip gloss in a really pretty shade
Candlelit dinners
"Blue time" (twilight)

Going to silly, tacky tourist traps





Fresh air while I sleep
Watching snow fall while cozy indoors
Starting a new journal
Going to the Farm Show & petting all the cows
Walking in Mount Gretna, Pa after dark
Having a my kids and their friends all in the house
Watching a ballet
Daydreaming films scenes or dances while listening to music
Getting "lost" while driving and turning it into an adventure

There is much to be said for knowing what makes us happy...the simple things, the big things, the silly things, the profound things.  Make your list.  Post it somewhere you can see it.  Share it.  Check in with yourself now and again to make sure you're spending the time you need to keep yourself happy.  

The return of Anam Cara

About a year and half ago, I wrote a post about the meaning of Anam Cara...soul friends.

Over the past few years, I've gone through some dark times. Times when I was so lonely I thought the pain of it would break me. Stress. Loss.

But I look around me now, and I see that despite all of that, I have built a life where I have good friends...and some of these people I did not know four years ago are Anam Cara.

These are handful of men and women who have become a part of the very fabric of my life. I cannot image NOT knowing them. How do I know they are Anam Cara?

When they arrive at a party or show up at the restaurant where we are meeting, the room seems brighter and warmer and friendlier. I like seeing their number come up on my phone and hearing their voice on the other end of a call.

These are people who would listen to a concern and genuinely care that I was hurting -- and they are the first to rejoice when something good happens to me. They share their fears and hurts and joys with me, too, knowing that I really do care. We matter to each other in ways that casual acquaintances just cannot. I can let them see the "real me" without fear, and I know that they trust me with their own genuine selves.

The hug is real, the "how are you" is sincere and the smile they offer when we meet in genuine.

So on the cusp of the New Year, I want to say thank you to these special people in my life. My family-by-choice. My Anam Cara.

(Image from Elfwood by Lydia Thomas)

Contrast

After days of scorching dry heat and blindly bright sun, I woke up to steely grey skies this morning.

The palm tree fronds are sage tinted in this light, and the air is heavy with the rain that will soon follow. A welcome change.

The contrast is beautiful.

I slept only a few hours last night, but I slept well...happy. Content. A contrast to months earlier when the few hours sleep I got were punctuated with bad dreams and suddenly moments of panicked awakening.

And I realized that it is the change from one experience to another that's making the sweet moments so sweet. The contrast from sunshine to shade. From pain and despair to happiness and hope.

The Rabbi teaching my class recently explained that there are two kinds of miracles in the world. One, easy to recognize, is when G-d steps in and makes something big happen. An against-all-odds recovery, or an unexplainable moment where the inevitable is somehow pushed aside.

But then there are all the other miracles that we call daily life. A rainbow. Food growing in a field. A rainstorm. Things we could and do easily overlook as "just normal." The purpose of study, and of the brachas (blessings) is to make us aware of how all of life is actually a series of miracles. Since we learned that, I have been struck by the miraculous among the mundane.

Today I awoke to another aspect of that. The miracle of contrast. The gift of appreciation we receive when we move from sadness or fear to joy. And even more telling, how sometimes even the move from what looks brighter (sunshine) to an impending storm can be a cause for prayers of thanks.

Some thoughts on Mother's Day -- Now versus Then

I had a very good Mother's Day...

My teenaged daughter brought tears to my eyes when she gave me a lovely necklace that featured a small silver dangle engraved with "Mother" -- and showed me that she had the matching "Daughter" one! A teenager who WANTS to match mom...I am beyond words!

My little one made me breakfast...her very famous scrambled eggs and toast. It was perfect! She has a secret to her delicious eggs but I had to promise not to tell anyone. Especially not the entire internet! And she made me a beautiful card at school...all hand woven with stories inside.

My son, who lives with his dad far away, sent me an oh-so-sweet card, and called. I'll be seeing him in just a few weeks and can't WAIT!

As a single mom, I suffer from too few hours and too many responsibilities. When I'm not actually at work, I'm usually cooking or doing household chores or taking my girls to one destination or another. (That's why I treasure our nights listening to music that I talked about in earlier posts!). Sometimes I think I'm not making it, not giving my kids everything they need, never mind what they want.

And then Mother's Day comes along, and I discover that according to my kids, I'm doing just fine.

I am one very happy mom! And a very blessed one.

How different it was when I was on the other side...as the daughter.

I remember many Mother's Days with my mom. My dad would take me shopping, and I would spend hours and lots of Dad's money picking out my mom's favourite perfume and some jewelry and maybe a book or two. Then there would be a big card and some drawings to go inside. I'd come home, wrap them carefully and wait for the big day. Then I wait while she opened the gifts...

"I already have this perfume."

My smile would fade just a bit.

"I don't wear this kind of jewelry."

I would start to feel guilty...how could I have messed up so badly?

"I think you picked this book out for yourself."

Sometimes I would try to salvage the moment by pointing out the advantages of the gifts.

"This is the new kind of the perfume. And I thought you would like the book because..." But my pleadings would fall on deaf ears. She'd gather up the paper, looking for all the world as though she was the recipient of a tax audit instead of the offerings of a little girl who wanted to make her mom happy.

So when I see the smile on my children's faces as they present me with their cards and gifts and gestures, I also allow myself to thank the little girl inside of me. Her gifts were just right, too. And the little girl that once was me smiles on Mother's Day...finally.