But since there's no getting out of it, I think I'm going to take a few minutes to create my ideal, fantasy version of this move....
First, all of those already-full boxes and totes in the closets and on garage shelves would instantly resize themselves to fit inside of an oh-so-adorable Container Store box. You know, one of those brand new boxes made to look several decades old? And they would tumble into the box neatly, with nary a spill or a need to rearrange them. All I would have to do is close the box and set it aside for the movers (more about them later.)
All the contents of the kitchen cabinets would suddenly stack neatly, with no need to wrap each and every #$#@ glass and cup and plate lest they break on the one mile journey (yes, that is how far we are moving. Actually just under a mile.)
My home office/studio contents would fit in a tidy pile in one or two totes. Ditto for all the clothes, shoes, coats and other haute-couture fashions from the best stores (cough...TJ Maxx...cough), makeup and toiletries. A petite pile of totes in the front hall.
Upon removing the furniture, all carpets will be found to be perfectly clean, and all walls will have nary a scratch or chip.
The team of 10 clean, hard-working, skilled movers will be oh so careful, and will know exactly how to handle that fragile antique rocker and 19th century jelly cabinet without anyone biting nails or standing by trying NOT to scream. Or actually screaming.
Upon arriving at the new house, everything will be spotlessly clean and ready for our things. The movers will accurately read my carefully written labels and place everything in the correct rooms. Not even once will I find garden tools in the bathroom or a box labeled "Fragile!China and Crystal" under three boxes of books.
The landlord of our old rental will thank us for taking such amazing care of his home, and exclaim in wonder at the decade-old carpet stains we managed to remove during our brief stay. Then he will immediately hand us a check for the full amount of our deposit.
On the first night in our new home, we will have a wonderful candlelight "picnic" in the living room, where we will sit contentedly among the boxes and eat gourmet food while we picture how great the house will look tomorrow once ALL the boxes are unpacked.
Moving isn't so bad....no, wait! Oh, heck....