Sleeping alone, napping with someone you love

To nap with someone is the realization of your inner self. To sleep alone is misery.

-- Moawya

My friend sent me this as a text message yesterday. We are both in the middle of exploring new relationships and trying to find that elusive thing called love. So we talk a lot. Calm each other's fears. Try to sort out what we hope will happen from what is really happening. Give each other support and warnings. And a few times, have even pulled each other from moments of dispair.

But this text message stopped me cold. "Realization of your inner self..." may seem like a lot to put on an ordinary nap. But it's not.

He is right.

When we are small, we nap in the safety of our cribs, our homes, usually with a parent nearby. Sometimes even cradled in the arms of someone who loves us. Safe. Protected. We rest and gain strength and recharge for the next adventures or tests we'll face after our nap. Whether it was an outing to the park or one more try at walking across the vast space that was the living room, after the nap we were ready.

As adults, most of us seldom nap. Unless we're sick, we are far from our beds from the beginning of our day to the end. If we're married or with a partner, we may share that bed at night. If we're single, we may spend our nights alone, or perhaps sometimes with a lover. We make love or read or watch tv in our beds...we are doing. Or it is nighttime and we are sleeping.

But a nap, as an adult, is different from other sleep. It is a return to that safety of infancy. It has no agenda. It's not about sex or night time. It's just about rest and renewal.

To share that moment of innocence and safety with another person is a profound act of trust. It is to admit our fatigue and our needs, and then to awaken in broad daylight again with this person next to us, all our flaws visible, faces bearing the marks of our pillows or our hands, hair messed up, perhaps even clothing rumpled if the nap was unplanned. It is to entrust our sleeping selves to this person who is sharing our bed while the rest of the world runs around outside our window.

It is to steal a moment from the time when adults are supposed to be productive or at least busy and return for just a moment to the freedom of our childhood.

You're right, my friend. I already owe you so many thanks for all our hours on the phone and the wisdom you've shared.

In return, I wish you someone to share a nap with...

Everything- Lifehouse

Faith in a song. The words say it all...no further commment is needed

Friday Five --On time! Summertime memories

And from the home of RevGals, here is this week's Friday Five..

1. Favorite summer food(s) and beverage(s)
Iced tea with fresh mint
Fruit salad with big chunks of watermelon

2. Song that "says" summer to you. (Need not be about summer explicitly.)
Summer Breeze by Seals and Crofts

3. A childhood summer memory
Endless car vacations with my family. I wanted to
a) Read
b) Swim

The rest was lost on me, except for a few memories of museums (Chicago's Science and Industry, San Francisco's Exploratorium) and tourist attractions (The Gateway Arch in St. Louis stands out.)

4. An adult summer memory
Sunrise on the beach with friends -- always a very special moment. And summer in Northern California with the cool foggy mornings and warm afternoons...perfect!

5. Describe a wonderful summer day you'd like to have in the near future. (weather, location, activities)
I want to visit Provence, and enjoy the fruits of summer, sitting at a village cafe, talking, eating, taking in the surroundings...and finally, truly relaxing for the first time in I don't know when.

Optional: Does your place of worship do anything differently in the summer? (Fewer services, casual dress, etc.)
Less services, less formal, more music and discussion and new versions of worship

Thoughts for today...

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

- Mahatma Gandhi

We can do no great things, only small things with great love

- Mother Teresa

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.

- The Buddha

Great acts are made up of small deeds

- Lao Tzu

You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.

- Seneca

A person's true wealth is the good he or she does in the world.
- Mohammed

The highest form of wisdom is kindness

- The Talmud


That kind of takes the wind out of the "I can't save the world so why should I even try " excuse!

Just my random thoughts for today...

Mommy, I touched a snake!!!

My nine year old is visiting her dad in Pennsylvania for the summer. I love her daily updates on her adventures away from home.

Today she called me all excited..."Mommy there was this wildlife exhibit...and I touched a black snake!"

I was astounded by her bravery.

This is a child who has had a fear of snakes that seems to have started at birth.

Before she could talk, she would flail in panic in her bath as though something was on her feet. She would awaken in terror in the night, doing the same...kicking and screaming in terror. When she began to talk, her bathtime and nighttime terrors were accompanied by a scream of "NAKE! NAKE!" I was baffled.

It was not until we made a trip to a science museum that I understood what she had been trying to say...she took one look at the reptile exhibit and screamed, trying to pull in her feet and hide..."Nake! NAKE!" she yelled from under her blanket. We were standing in front of the snake cages. As far as I know, that was the very first time she ever saw a snake. And yet her fear had predated that exposure by months.

A few time before, she has tried to approach a snake. She has watched, from a distance of several yards, while I handled a boa at a mall nature booth. But her terror prevented her from coming any closer.

But today, she gathered her bravery and TOUCHED a snake. "It's cool and soft, Mommy" she told me, her voice bursting with pride. "And I touched it!"

I stand in awe -- she has faced a fear that has haunted her throughout her entire life. At nine years old.

How many of us are so brave as to touch our greatest fear?

Of course, there is a price for me to pay for her triumph...she wants me to go on the Great Bear roller coaster at Hershey Park when I go up there later this summer.

I am TERRIFIED of rollar coasters! But unfortunately, unlike with snakes, just touching the ride doesn't count.

I only hope at the end of July, I will be as brave as my 9 year old daughter...but her example is going to be a hard one to follow!

Does "I love you" have an expiration date?

Another Sex in the City inspired post....

In one episode, Carrie tells Big that she loves him. He responds with some comment totally off subject, and she gets annoyed. She concludes that an unreturned "I love you" has about the same shelf life as a dairy product...about a week.

In another episode (or maybe the same one? ) Samantha sums up the problem men and women have with those three little words...

You can tell a man you hate him and have the best sex of your life. But tell him "I love you" and you'll probably never see him again.

Is that really true? Has love become so scarce that people have to ration it out, choosing to walk away instead of loving in return? What are we so scared of?

And what about the love between two people when a relationship ends? Does it stay out there in the universe, somewhere in the background like an inconspicuous piece in a big collage? Just an eye or a hand or a bit of color within the big picure?

Or does that expire too...souring and congealing -- needing to be put out with the week's peelings and egg shells like that carton of milk from the back of the fridge that no one wants to open?

Friday Five -- a Bit Late!

I just discovered that one of the blog rings to which I belong has a Friday Five --- a set of questions to journal/blog. So cool...so here is last week's post, and here are my answers. I'd love to hear from y'all, too on these...if you put these on your blog, be sure to send me a link!

This week's questions are about an ideal get-away to somewhere far from the daily stresses of life....

Describe your location, in general or specific terms

Warm but not hot. Breezy. Green. Lots and lots of water. No bugs. Time (no real deadline to leave.) Money not a worry. Access to diving gear, snorkles, sailboat. Someone special with me. Or a very good friend at least.

and....


1) What book(s) will you bring? Whatever book I am reading when I go (today that is Jules and Jim), a journal to write in, and something inspirational (probably something on meditation)

2) What music accompanies you? Vivaldi, R Carlos Nakai

3) What essentials of everyday living must you take (as in the health and beauty aids aisle variety)? Shampoo, soap, lotion, deodorant, and lip balm

4) What technological gadgets if any, will you take with you or do you leave it all behind? I would take something on which to play my music, a book light for nighttime journaling on the beach

5) What culinary delights will you partake in while there? Fresh fruit -- lots of it, all cut up and ready for me to snack. Mangoes, peaches, apricots, nectarines, oranges, berries, guava, passion fruit. Nuts...almonds, pistachios, walnuts, pine nuts. Homemade whole grain bread. preferably with dried fruit and nuts in it. And cool, clear water with a bit of lime.

As a bonus question, what makes for a perfect day on vacation for you? Beautiful scenery, warm weather, cool breezes, sunshine, friends or even better, someone I love.