Listening for God? Or just for us?

I was reading Harold Kushner's book "Living a Life that Matters", when I came across a section about Jeremiah and listening to God.  He wrote:

My question to Jeremiah would be: What did you mean when you said 'The word of the Lord came to me...' How does God speak to people? How can you be sure that it is God's voice and not your own wishful thinking? Of the many voices that come into our minds, how do we recognize which is the authentic voice of God?"

That question resonated with me, especially in this election season when so many claim to know exactly what God wants us to do. Too many candidates are all too willing to tell everyone whom God loves and whom God hates.  They, as ordinary human beings, say they know what behaviors and what attitudes God approves of, and which He/She/It condemns.

So how do they know?   What tools do they have to separate the divine voice from their own biases and prejudices?  Sure, some of them can quote scripture or commentary to support their view.  But then again, others can quote from the same sources and have a totally different result. So which, if anyone, is really hearing God's voice? Which is God's message and which is our own?

The question is nothing new.  The Rabbis who wrote the Talmud claimed to be writing the will of God, and yet even amid their very closed group, there was more argument and disagreement than agreement.  Surely if they had heard the word of God, there would be no room for debate!

And any student of history knows that the greatest horrors in our world's history came from different views of what God wants, what God says.

The founders of this country understood this dilemma, too. They tried to put into place protection from a state view of religion, and Jefferson wrote extensively about the need to separate religion and government, knowing that our very human issues often cloud the real message.

So why, knowing this reality, do we still, as a country, accept candidates who claim to speak from their own religious point of view?  Why do we not tell them to leave the religious message at the door to their synagogue or mosque or church?

Why if we cannot know how to hear God's voice above our own, do we still accept the words of other humans who claim that they are immune?

Peace to us all for Pink Saturday....

Clockwise, from wind chimes: Wiccan beltane, Buddhist nuns, Muslim girl in hijab, Christian Minister, Hindu bride, Jewish woman in Tallit

We're all in this together, this thing we call life.

Most of us want the same things.  Peace.  A healthy and happy family.  Good kids.  A warm, dry and safe place to live. Enough food on the table. Love. A chance to worship as we believe is right.  We are all so much the same. And yet so wonderfully different.

It really doesn't matter whether we put on a hijab or a tallit or a robe...and when it comes down to it, it doesn't matter how we address the Creator, whether in words or song or one name or another.  Our paths are different, but the mountain top is the same one.  We have just been placed on different roads to get there.

Today, on this anniversary of an act of hate, carried out by a few individuals, let's spend time remembering that we all...

Cry
Laugh
Sing
Smile
Grow
Love

If someone else's customs seem strange, ask questions.  If their words sound foreign to your ear, listen with your heart.  If they look different, ignore their clothes or their skin colour and look at their eyes. You'll recognize the kinship there.

And the next time you're tempted to say "They all..." about another religion -- or you feel that it might be better to remain silent when someone else heads that way -- remember that it's your sister or your brother who is being hated. And speak up, in love, for peace, for every member of our human family.

A joyous and peaceful September 11th Pink Saturday to you all.

Hamsa - Five - Celebrating 5 months of marriage and my husband's birthday

Our hats on the hotel windowsill the morning after the wedding

 Today we are celebrating five months of marriage.  And at the same time, we are celebrating my husband's birthday -- there is also a 5 in his age.  And the date: 8/21/2010, if you add it up, 8+2+1+2+1=14, and 1+ 4 = 5 .

The coincidence occurred to me as I was thinking about the five months since our wedding day. And buying his birthday present. (It's amazing what runs through my mind when I'm standing in line! Sometimes I do calculus equations -- this time it was numerology. Oh well!)

Now, I am not a big fan of numerology, but that synchronicity caught my attention. Could it be just an accident?  It seems, even to the number skeptic (me!) that that is even more unlikely.

So I started thinking about the number five.  I wear a piece of Judaic/Islamic jewelry called a Hamsah.  It is a common religious symbol in the Middle East and North Africa, but in all of them, it represents protection and good fortune.  Some call it the Hand of Miriam, some call it the Hand of Fatima.  I've even heard it called the Hand of G-d.  But whatever the name, the symmetrical five finger-arrangement makes it distinctive.  In fact, the word "Hamsah" means five in Arabic.  So why is this symbol of five considered so powerful?

The Zohar, the classic work of Jewish mysticism and esoteric knowledge, has numerous mentions of powerful fives, including the five gates of salvation.  Kabbalist Rabbi Issac Luria wrote about the "... five souls, Nefesh ("Spirit"), Ru'ach ("Wind"), Neshamah ("Soul"), 
Chayah ("Life"), and Yechidah ("Singular"); the first of these being the lowest, and the last the highest. (Source: Etz Chayim)" .The Torah itself consists of Five Books of Moses. 

And Islamic practice is based upon Five Pillars.  Shahadah, a statement professing monotheism and accepting Muhammad as one of G-d's messengers. Salah, the daily prayer  which is made five times each day (another five.) Zakat, or charitable giving.  Sawm, or fasting, especially during the approximately 30 day period known as Ramadan.  And Hajj, which is a pilgrimage to Mecca.

There are also Five Precepts of the Buddha Gautama in the Theravada (mainly southeast and south Asia) and Mahayana (in China, Korea, and Japan) traditions. The Five Precepts are promises to abstain from killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, lying and intoxication.

I'm sure there are more, in other religions and cultures.  But the powerful presence of these major five, along with the fives in our life today feel like a great opportunity. I'm not sure how or what form it might take, but the message is too clear to ignore. 

For my husband on his birthday, and for the two of us on this five month anniversary, it's going to be a very special day. 

Happy Pink Saturday, everyone! 

Saying Goodbye to a Friend

There are many ways to lose a friend...

Sometimes one person moves far away, and despite promises to stay in touch and visit often, the days and weeks and miles come between. Conversations become shorter and the times between them longer. Then one day, without anyone realizing it's happening, the two go from "friends" to "someone I used to know."

Other times some one comes between the two, and loyalties are challenged. A new love interest, a new spouse, a new baby...and suddenly there is no time or energy for the way things used to be. We may be sad, but we understand that people change and that sometimes a friend for one season may not be the right friend for another.

Sometimes there is a parting of ways because of a betrayal, and try though they might, the chain of trust has been shattered. And friends become strangers or even enemies.

But the hardest to take is when one never really knows what happened. One day the person is part of your life. You talk, you visit, you make plans, you laugh. And then in what seems like an instant, the other is gone. Calls are refused. Visits cease. And in the online world, your IM's are rejected. You search your heart, trying to understand what you did, what you said. You talk to friends. You go over and over in you head, trying to imagine what went wrong. But still you have no answers. If you do see the person, your questions remain unanswered. You want to know if there is something you can do to make it right again. They don't want to talk. You have ceased to exist for them.

For one of my friends, I have ceased to exist. At some point in the past few weeks, he decided to end the relationship. To close the door. And I cannot understand. But I have to accept.

I wrote early on in this blog about my efforts at non-attachment. And my limited success. And so, in the spirit of learning that spiritual skill, I offer this post. Good bye my friend. I have learned much from you and I am grateful to have had you in my life for the time the universe allowed. The door will always remain open on my side, should you ever wish to walk back through it.

I wish you well in all that comes your way. May your path be one of love and happiness and peace.

Non-attachment and Starting Over

I've been studying Buddhism for years and years and years. Although my faith lies in the basics of Judaism, Buddhism is an integral part of my daily practice.

One aspect of Buddhism that I've been working on is non-attachment. For those of you not familiar with Buddhist practice, this is basically reaching a point where we can let go of objects, personal goals or even people in our lives with a minimum of regret. More of just an acknowlegement that they were there and now they are not.

It's a lofty goal, and one I thought I was doing well in moving towards. I had given away hundreds of books, calmly swept up the remains of once precious collectibles without a thought of replacement or sadness. Lost books, pictures, mementos and other objects without a backwards glance. I walked away from a big house and moved in a small apartment. Left the relative finaincial security of a troubled marriage to go out and try to make it on my own with my daughters. I still wasn't ready to display this level of non-attachment to people, but I thought I was well on my way and quite frankly, doing amazingly well.

And then my friend's house burnt down. He lost everything. All at once. Only his children and his friends left, he now faces the daunting task of starting over at 54 years of age. With 4 children to care for. And in a instant, I realized that my achievements in non-attachment were zero.

I have been giving away what I choose to give away. Yes, I hold on to far less than I did, but the choices have been mine. And the the few things I lost or swept up in pieces...they were small, one-at-a-time losses. Nothing major. Nothing huge. Certainly not everything at once. I have thus far been spared the loss of everything.

Some people who have been through a devastating loss like my friend's have come out months or even years later feeling that it was the best thing that every happened to them. A re-birth, although they all say they did not recognize it at the time. Nor would they have appreciated anyone trying to tell them that at the time. They needed to work it out for themselves...this was a very personal cleansing.

Perhaps for some, it is a process, this non-attachment. And for others, it is a test...something they have to learn all at once as a fire or flood or hurricane strips away all they believed they owned.

All I know is that there is some order here, somehow. And that I pray my friend will find it. And that I will continue to try to learn, again from scratch, what it means to let go.