What a "clean room" means to a teenager

The Before...

We just had yet another round about the room. But this time, I didn't yell or even get mad.  I was too busy laughing.

Why? Because the absurdity of what a teen can call a "clean" room just hit me. Maybe it's because I haven't been sleeping well, and I'm punchy. But it was all too funny to do anything but laugh..

For those of you new to this parent thing, you might not understand. Let me put it in simple terms. Two year olds make a mess. Teenagers give F4 tornadoes a run for their money. 

And then they "clean" it up. And that's where the real fun starts. We had that particular breed of fun just tonight. But I was laughing to hard to haul out the camera, so use your imagination. Here goes...

According to the alternate-reality world of teenager-hood, a clean room may include:

• Five assorted glasses, cups and mugs
• Three plates and two bowls
• My favourite tea pot, the one I said must never, ever, ever, under any circumstances go further than the dining room  (because it was a wedding present and cost more that I could ever possibly justify spending for a tea pot!) 
• Three pairs of shoes in the hall just outside of the door
• Two belts on the same hall floor
• A floor under the bed which was home to a half dozen power cords and headphones, several food  wrappers, an apple core and at least two magazines. 
• A pile of "I don't know what to do with this" stuff that covers about a 2' x 2' square of carpet
• A dresser top that I know is there only because I can remember what it looks like from when we moved in.
• Ditto the bedside table top
• Ditto the desk top
• An unmade bed piled with at least half of the blankets, quilts and pillows we own (she likes to make a "nest" to sleep in...oh, wait. She got that trait from me. Never mind...)

I walked in, because she wanted me to see the "clean room". My husband, who had beaten me to the punch, was laying on the floor, laughing. I could not help but joining in. So we giggled. And my daughter giggled. And her friend, who was "helping" her clean, giggled. 

And when we finished laughing, she put on the two belts, and two of the pairs of shoes that had been in the hall (one pair on feet, one on hands), then picked up the long-since outgrown little girl purse from the dresser and announced she was ready to go to Wendy's for a Frosty. as a reward for cleaning her room. 

So.....Dishes removed, space under the bed cleared and vacuumed and the desk somewhat exposed, my husband took the girls to Wendy's for those Frostys

Yeah, according to the "Great and Powerful Oz", or "The Book of Really Good Parenting" (which I am sure exists, but I never did find a copy), we are bad parents.  We should have refused to play along until the room was genuinely clean. We should have used it as an object lesson for responsibility and natural consequences and all the other things the people who have read that "Really Good Parenting" book do. 

But we didn't. We laughed and we bought Frostys

But you know what? I don't care what I should have done. It was worth it for the giggles she gave us. And that's more precious than all the spotlessly clean rooms in the universe.

Time for the family pictures...oh, and don't forget the holiday letters!

I have always wanted to have one of THOSE family holiday pictures.  You know, the kind where a smiling family is posed in a charmingly vintage setting, every hair in place and of course all in perfectly matched outfits.

Just one.  Just once.

So when I saw Design Mom's Tips for [Perfect!] Family Photos, I was once again hooked. Yes, I did insert that "perfect" but when you see her adorable shots, you'll understand why. Not only was the vintage European car a perfect prop, the stone building was a dream-come-true backdrop.  Even the sky cooperated, offering a lovely silver palate to highlight the bright red packages.

And miracle of miracles, the kids looked like they all played along.

As if.

As if I could ever pull that off. Oh, it's not that I didn't try. But between the whines when I said we would all be wearing matching demin shirts, to the photo-phobic child of the year (they seemed to trade this role from year to year), the picture of my dreams never happened. Hair was pulled, things were spilled (didn't I say no chocolate milk until AFTER the shoot???)...and again I settled for almost any shot with the three kids in it and no one's eyes closed.

But let it never be said that I am a quitter, because I am planning to try again this year.  No, there won't be any adorable vintage cars involved. And I'm thinking more geeky t-shirts instead of matching denim.  But seeing other people's perfect shot has renewed my determination to try again.

So kids, be forewarned. Mom is bringing out the family photo shoot plan again this year.

And then we'll start on the holiday newsletter.......Mwa haha,

So how was your Halloween?

Halloween, my absolutely favorite holiday, has come and gone again for another year.

There was so much going on this year with family that I didn't get around to doing nearly as much of an event as I'd planned, but I did manage to create a pretty cool Trick or Treat table at the last minute.

I especially liked the tree (a Hobby Lobby special for only $7!) and the kind of post-apocalyptic metal spiders I've had for years and years. The picture in the top photo is a Dollar Tree find from last year...as you move, the image changes from the sweet old lady you see to a grinning skeleton face.

It was fun sitting outside with my DH, handing out candy to the little ones who came by.  But the best part was when the golf carts arrived!

You see, we live in a development that includes a golf course and club. So, as we learned from one of the neighbor moms last night. the kids traditionally all gather at the club, load up on golf carts and head out to Trick or Treat!  The parents drive, of course!

They stop on every block, unload a swarm of kids, everyone goes to the houses and then re-boards for the next block!  I love it!

I was also thrilled to see that Trick or Treating here started AFTER DARK!  Even for the little ones!  No 5:30 doorbells, or everything over by 8!

My daughter chose an easy costume this year...she wanted to be an 80's rocker, so all I had to do was open my storage bin of clothes I saved from then, add a pair of very 80's rock-star leopard skin boots I found on clearance at Target, and she was set!  Oh, and one more thing...I bought a ton of hair spray and gel to give her that 80's hair!  A blast from the past! I can't believe we did that much work every morning just to have our hair right!

My husband took lots of pictures last night, so I may upload more later, but I really wanted to get this post up this morning...lots to do today (y'know, like work!)

Maybe next year, I'll do the haunted house in the garage, or set my dinner table with great Halloween table settings like Susan showcased on Between Naps on the Porch.  But I'm learning to be happier with what I do these days. So full on Halloween next year...this year the table and kids and golf carts were just enough.

First a chimney sweep, then the kites

The other day, I met a chimney sweep.  Actually, I didn't know he was a chimney sweep when I met him.  I just liked his hat...a traditional black top hat.

We chatted for a few minutes, and then he shook my hand, reminding me that Mary Poppins (the wisest woman in history, according to Charles the chimney sweep) said that shaking hands with a chimney sweep brings good luck.

And I am not one to ever turn down good luck!

And then yesterday, we saw the kites.  Hundreds of kites at Austin's 84th annual Kite Festival.  And suddenly, the sky was full of kites...more kites than I had ever seen in one place.

Kites of all sizes and shapes....

And people and music and of course, dogs!

A cute pup near our chairs

Including Maya.....

Maya Puppy!

 ...who loved meeting all the other dogs. And watching the kites! Seriously!

Anyhow... With chimney sweeps and kites in one week, shouldn't I be ready for the carousel that will take me on a cross country jaunt?  It can't be far behind!

A walk in Austin

Last week, we went for a walk around the park in Austin. We had a bit of rain in the days before (after weeks and weeks of nothing) and the entire park had come to life....

A few hours of much needed rain brought out the blooms

A simple circle plus two benches created a magical feeling to this river overlook

Austin from the other side of the river

Autumn is finally arriving, after the unbearable heat of summer, and the trees are offering a colorful display of gratitude

Double the beauty

The swans on the river are so elegant....this one's mate was just out of camera range, but each time I've visited, they've been within sight of one another....so sweet!

Miss Maya, Queen of the Hill, loves these hikes

As evening arrives, it's time to head back home

Being cold makes me want to bake

It's chilly here in Florida...50's right now, 40's during the night. It's a wonderful change from the super, super hot summer we had where I thought I would melt.

An interesting side effect of the colder weather -- I want to bake.  I want to fill the house with yummy smells and pretty pies and breads. Never mind that I eat none of the former, and little of the latter.  I still want to bake.  And someone will eat it!

So tonight, I am going to bake....maybe cookies....I think I have everything I need for luscious buttery cookies....

Flour....

Sugar.....

Vanilla....

Sea salt....

Butter....

And a pinch of baking soda....

And maybe just a hint of cinnamon....

The whole house will smell like winter, like holidays, like family.

What better medicine for stress and worry than the smell of a freshly baked cookie? What greater yet simple joy than taking one, so very hot, right from the baking sheet, and tossing it hand to hand until it's just barely cool enough to bite into....

Tonight, we are baking!

Playing with my friends

On Saturday night, a group of us...about 50 or so...went to Miami MetroZoo for an after-dark experience where we got to get up close and personal with tigers, lions, a rhino and some other zoo residents.

It was like being a kid again, full of wonder as we stood FAR closer than we ever expected to these beautiful beings, and experienced the awe of sharing a space with those who are usually far, far beyond a barrier. We spoke to the animals by name, and they responded! When I called one of the camels by name, he came running back! That was so cool!

Afterwards, 11 of us went to Ruby Tuesday's for a late supper and conversation. We joked around, as we waited for our table, everyone laughing and talking about which animals they liked best and which group got to see the most animals.

As supper came to a close, a battle started at the table. I'm not sure whether it was a grape or a sugar packet that was launched first, but in seconds, lemon wedges, grapes, packets of sweetener and chips were flying. Then one person went and got a bunch of paper coasters, which became impromptu Frisbees, as they were sent flying around the table, too. The restaurant was nearly empty, so we didn't disturb any other diners. And we kept our ammunition within the confines of our table. But otherwise, it was a no-holds barred kidfest, where the only "official" kid was my daughter, age 12.

And I loved every second of it! It was wonderful to play with my friends -- even more so, to have friends who are willing to play, unconcerned about whether it makes them look silly or childish. In this world full of people afraid to smile or take a chance, it's a blessing to find people who remember G-d put us here to be happy. And that sometimes, that might involved some flying grapes.


PS...We cleaned up most of our mess, and left the waitress a VERY nice tip! Just in case you were wondering!

I've lived in a thousand houses

Growing up in Fl. with family in NJ and PA meant annual road trips up north to visit the family.

Yes, sometimes we flew, but more often than not, we would make it into a three-day-each way journey, complete with stops in Savannah to eat dinner at the Pirate House, a furniture shopping stop in North Carolina, and a visit to the tacky-but-irresistible South of the Border tourist trap.

But one of my most treasured memories of those long days in the car was looking at the houses we passed and creating stories about the people who lived there.

It could just be a fleeting glance as we sped past. I would memorize the color of the door, the front porch, the windows as we came up to a house, went in front of it, and drove on. If we stopped in front of a house, for a light or traffic, I would gather even more information for my story. The flowers. The fence. The swing set. Or the absence of all of those. Then the story would start.

I would begin by imagining that the house was mine. It was the place I came home to each day after school. With just that brief view in my head, I would image walking up to the door, seeing the porch, hearing my footsteps as I walked across the wood or concrete or dirt or stones that led up to the door. I would see the door in my mind, imagine reaching for the knob. Try to gather up how I felt coming home here. Happy? Sad? Hopeful? Scared?

Then I would picture walking inside. The light. The colors. The furniture and the pictures on the wall. The sounds and smells. Who would be there? I would imagine my family-of-that-house. Their names and who they were. Were they home when I got home? Or was the house empty? I would picture my room. Did I have a room to myself, or did I share. What did the bed feel like to lie in at night?

I was too young or too innocent to imagine that horrors could happen in any of my imaginary homes. I could picture sadness or even fear, but not terror.

I would go through a day and night in that house in my imagination, seeing myself as the person who lived there, maybe of a different skin color or religion or language, but always somehow still enough me to recognize. And always a girl.

Once I had exhausted one house in my imagination, I would pick another. I would look ahead and see it coming up, start to gather the details in my mind as it got closer.

I never wrote down any of those stories. But it was clear from those early trips that I was destined to be a writer. Those trips prepared me to live in other skins and see through other eyes.

I seldom get to spend much time on my imaginary homes these days (I am usually behind the wheel, driving my kids), but when I get a chance to be a passenger, I do find my old game coming back. And the other day, my youngest daughter told me from the backseat -- "Mama, when I see people out walking or in a store, sometimes I imagine that what it's like to be them." Another writer is born!

New Year's Musings and Memories

Before the clock strikes midnight on 2009, I want to take one last look back at some New Year's memories....

-- Toasting the new year with ice cream sundaes and ginger ale with my kids. Early in the day, we would go to the grocery store and everyone would get their favorite flavor of ice cream or frozen yogurt, plus toppings, sauces, sprinkles and of course, whipped cream. We would pull out the sofa bed in the living room and watch the old year count down...and then at about 10 minutes to midnight, everyone would make their sundaes, pour glasses of ginger ale and run back to the living room to wait for the big moment. At exactly the turn of New Year's Day, we would toast with ginger ale and start eating the sundaes.

-- Going all the way back to high school, and the few years after...the annual New Year's eve party...the one night I could stay out past curfew. Knowing that every year, we would all be together to celebrate...seeing people I had known for years (some since elementary school.)

-- Going back even further...a couple of childhood trips to New York City to watch the ball drop in Times Square. I know it must have been cold, but all I remember is the excitement and the fun of being THERE, where the New Year really seemed to start.

This year, I will be at a friend's house for New year's eve. My fiance will be there. My oldest daughter will be there. My little one will be at her friend's house. My son will be up north. But I'm thinking...maybe I will go get some frozen yogurt and toppings to eat when I watch the ball drop. Just for old time's sake.

Happy New Year everyone! May the best of previous years be even better, and the worst soon a distant memory!

I'm going to DisneyWorld!

No, I didn't win the Super Bowl or the World Series. So why do I sound like one of those Gatorade-drenched sports guys?

Cause I AM going to Disney World! The Magic Kingdom. Maybe Disney Studios. And then to Universal. We are doing the whole Orlando tourist bit. :-)

My parents took me to Disney World opening week. And they tell me that when we arrived at the gates of the Magic Kingdom, I just stood there and froze. I did not believe it was real. They had to physically move me past the gates!

Now, lots of years later, when FastPasses have replaced E-tickets, and the lone Magic Kingdom has been joined by three other parks, and instead of going with my parents, I go AS a parent, I am just as excited as I was as a little girl on that very first visit.

My kids tease me about me still being a little kid. I respond by holding up four fingers and confirming that I am indeed, "This many." Going back to Disney World gives me a chance to once again be that little girl who stood amazed at the front gates of a magical kingdom.

So if you happen to be going into WDW in a couple of weeks, and you see a woman standing in front of the main gates to the Magic Kingdom, just staring in amazement, you'll know I've made it back. Sometimes it's great to be "This many."

The holiday are coming!

For me, the big ones are the High Holidays (Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur), then Sukkot, then Halloween, two birthdays, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, another birthday and the New Year.

The High Holidays mean deep introspection, sweet honey and apples, long services, a the wonderful taste of a meal after a long fast

Sukkot...hoping to build a nice Sukkah this year. Spent some time today looking up plans! And I already have the decorations in my head...hope the weather is cool!

Halloween...can't do much at my place outside, oh, but indoors!!! Now where did I put that giant spider???? And then there is the 2nd annual trip to Universal for their Halloween Horrors event!

Birthdays...two...my daughter Nov 7th, my son Nov 8th. Gift ideas....hmmmm.

Thanksgiving...going away! Always good for Thanksgiving...maybe even some really cool weather!

Hanukkah...need to get into the storage unit and get out all the Hannukiot. Time for them to all shine again!

Birthday...my littlest one. Time is flying!

New Year's Eve...can it really be that close to 2010?

What are your holidays coming up? What makes them special? I would love to hear about them all!

Carnivals, small town fairs and being a kid

We went to the community carnival last night.

I live in a large upscale area of South Florida -- 4 high schools of about 3-4,000 students each, nice developments, the standard shopping "must-have's" like Borders, Barnes & Noble, Old Navy, Build-A-Bear and Macy's. Chili's, TGI Friday's, Olive Garden. Of course a couple of Starbucks. The main roads are 6 lanes, and three highways connect me to the rest of South Florida.

Hardly small town.

And yet at the community's annual carnival, as we ate funnel cakes and watched the kids running from ride to ride, the feeling was almost the same as in my former small Pennsylvania town made famous by a romantic comedy slice of life movie set in a Kentucky town that shares the same name. (yes, you have to think on a Monday morning!!)

Kids still ran into friends and dared each other to ride the scariest rides with hands stretched up into the air. Parents carrying stuffed animal prizes still trailed behind, introducing themselves to one another by their children's names.

"Hi, I'm Catherine's mom." "Hi, I'm Ashley's mom. She talks a lot about Catherine." (Our own names almost always come at the end of the conversation -- but that's a subject for another blog post.)

Too much sugar. Music so loud you'd think it would drown out the squeals and screams of pleasure and mock terror from the rides, but it doesn't. The smell of fried foods that defy classification on any food pyramid. Fund raiser booths for the local Boy scouts, Girls Scouts, animal rescue and the new church down the street. Impossibly bright lights everywhere, and the giant ferris wheel overlooking the whole thing, carrying every couple in love to a breathtaking kiss at the top.

For years, the Elizabethtown Fair was the big event. (OK, so i took pity on sleepy Monday readers and gave away the name of the town!) Even though we lived 10 minutes from Hershey Park, and went almost daily in the summertime, going to a just-in-town-for-a-few-days fair was much more exciting. It was a place to run into the people you knew, and introduce yourself to the moms and dads of your kids' classmates. It was where kids dared one another to go on rides, and lovers kissed when their ferris wheel car stopped at the top. And being Pennsylvania, of course we ate funnel cake.

This weekend's fair lacked animal judging. No food and craft barns, either. But it was so nice to know that big city or small town, in today's online, high tech world, there's still a thrill in the air when the carnival's in town.

Off to the zoo

I'm going to the zoo today, with my two daughters, and two cameras, and a lot of memories.

I know it's not cool to admit it in some circles, but I love going to zoos. It's not that I love the fact that animals that should be in the wild are in cages. I really don't. But zoos have been around since people started traveling and collecting animals from faraway places, and I can't imagine they'll ever go away.

What I love is the same reason people make zoos. Odds are, I won't be going anywhere near a tiger in the wild any time soon. Probably a good thing, since tigers in the wild tend to not be terribly fond of human visitors -- except for lunch. But at the zoo, I can see a tiger --- this magnificent creature God created. The inspiration for Blake's "Tyger, tyger, burning bright." For a moment, I can share in his vision, as I watch these graceful animals, focusing on their strength and beauty. For a moment, I can be there with them.

I've been going to zoos for as long as I can remember. Philadelphia, the Bronx Zoo, Central Park Zoo. Zoos in St. Louis, Missouri, Denver, Colorado, and Los Angeles, California. And of course, the amazing San Diego Zoo. Wherever we traveled, my parents would find a zoo. Somewhere I have a box with souvenirs from my visits...a wax gorilla, a giant pencil, a bag that once held jacks, a few of those postcard albums I could bear to take apart and send.

But mostly I have good memories. I have not been to Metro Zoo since my now 10 year old was about 2. We were looking at the pictures the other day, and she started talking about what she remembers. And about the zoos we have been to since then.

So political correctness be darned, and my fellow PETA members can gasp in horror. We are going to the zoo!

Which shampoo is best for chocolate cake??

It took almost 10 minutes to get the chocolate cake and frosting out of my hair...

But it was worth every second.

Today was my daughter's 10th birthday...yes, a Christmas baby! My two daughters and I celebrated with gifts and a round of "Happy Birthday"...and a cake.

A homemade gooey chocolate cake with lots of chocolate frosting and pink writing and roses (none too perfect, but it was adorned with love.)


After she blew out the candles, we all agreed that we wanted to wait for later to eat the cake...we'd had a big dinner, and none of the three of us were hungry. The birthday girl went to put the cake into the fridge, and wham!

She slipped, the cake went flying and landed face down on the floor. She was sitting amid the mess, cake splattered on her clothes.

My older daughter and I ran to see if she was okay...no injuries, but the cake was a goner. I looked at her tearful face...looked at the smashed cake at her feet, and grabbed a big piece.

"There's only one thing to do," I said. She tells me now she expected me to say "Let's clean it up." or "Make another."

But I am NOT an ordinary mom. Nope. I took that double handful of warm cake and sticky frosting -- and smeared it on her face! And on her hair. It only took a second for her to recover...

The tears stopped. And I was rewarded with a big scoop of chocolate cake on my face! Then we got her sister!

Cake went everywhere...on faces, in hair, on arms and necks! I had frosting up my nose!

And we laughed! We laughed harder than I could ever remember, squealing as handfuls of cake and icing came at us, grabbing handfuls to "retaliate."

Once the cake had been reduced to nothing but goo, I sent the girls to shower..with plastic grocery bags on their feet to get them from kitchen to bathrooms without getting anything on the white carpet. I stayed behind and mopped up the mess, wiped down the cabinets and cleaned off the wall.

Then I spent 10 minutes in the shower washing cake out of my hair...still laughing!

My daughter never got to eat her birthday cake...but before she went to bed, she told me it was the best birthday ever!

Cake 0, Memories, priceless.