What you say about social media is NOT what your kids hear

Let me start out by saying that is not yet another post about the dangers of social media profiles, and the world of paedophiles lurking out there waiting to scoop up the names, locations and pictures. That message has come through loud and clear. Got it.

Nope, this is about trying to get kids (and especially teens) to understand that NOTHING goes away online. That the "Delete" button is really just an archive or a "don't show this here now to me" button.

And that colleges and universities are using that information (including what you THOUGHT you deleted) to decide who get in and who gets scholarships.

And employers, legally or not, are using it to decide who gets hired and who gets the boot. And did I mention that it NEVER, EVER, EVER goes away???

So here's how it goes. I calmly tell my kids and their friends that they shouldn't post anything online they wouldn't want their grandmother, teachers, future boss or someday boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife reading. Or looking at. Or listening to. (Yeah, dangling participles galore...I can just hear my English degree adviser now!)

They look at me with sympathy. Poor mom has drunk the Kool-Aid. Doesn't get the world of Tumblr or Facebook. Never mind that online content marketing is my profession. Doesn't matter.

And so they post. And they upload.  Nothing truly awful. Nothing criminal or mean. Just stuff that to an admissions committee faced with 200 completely qualified students and one more slot could mean they come across as a slacker or uncomnmited or that person who's going to penny in the other students on the dorm floor. So they get the dreaded thin letter and someone else gets the welcome packet.

I know that the screaming-until-your-face-turns-blue or lecturing until your tongue is sprained won't get the message across. But ignoring it isn't an option.

So I'm asking you...what if anything has worked for you?  What message, what tool, what piece of information worked?

In the meantime, here's a message for future employers and college admissions boards everywhere. Kids say and do stupid stuff. By definition. Because they are kids. So could you please do everyone a favor and just look away a bit more? Scale back the peeking in where you're not invited. It's kind of like reading your sister's diary...none of your business and probably mostly made up.

Because behind the weird videos and talk about putting a cow on the high school princpals roof, they're good kids.  And odds are they would be good students and good employees.

Oh, and one more thing.  That prank you never figured out when I was at UF? That was me. The early-admissions, squeeky clean honors student. Just sayin'

Playing with my friends

On Saturday night, a group of us...about 50 or so...went to Miami MetroZoo for an after-dark experience where we got to get up close and personal with tigers, lions, a rhino and some other zoo residents.

It was like being a kid again, full of wonder as we stood FAR closer than we ever expected to these beautiful beings, and experienced the awe of sharing a space with those who are usually far, far beyond a barrier. We spoke to the animals by name, and they responded! When I called one of the camels by name, he came running back! That was so cool!

Afterwards, 11 of us went to Ruby Tuesday's for a late supper and conversation. We joked around, as we waited for our table, everyone laughing and talking about which animals they liked best and which group got to see the most animals.

As supper came to a close, a battle started at the table. I'm not sure whether it was a grape or a sugar packet that was launched first, but in seconds, lemon wedges, grapes, packets of sweetener and chips were flying. Then one person went and got a bunch of paper coasters, which became impromptu Frisbees, as they were sent flying around the table, too. The restaurant was nearly empty, so we didn't disturb any other diners. And we kept our ammunition within the confines of our table. But otherwise, it was a no-holds barred kidfest, where the only "official" kid was my daughter, age 12.

And I loved every second of it! It was wonderful to play with my friends -- even more so, to have friends who are willing to play, unconcerned about whether it makes them look silly or childish. In this world full of people afraid to smile or take a chance, it's a blessing to find people who remember G-d put us here to be happy. And that sometimes, that might involved some flying grapes.


PS...We cleaned up most of our mess, and left the waitress a VERY nice tip! Just in case you were wondering!