The absurdities of modern life - trying to use an extended warranty

I stood there in the service department of the Suzuki dealership holding a part that was once attached to my car's engine...it took both arms to hold the large plastic-wrapped piece of a Forenza. And yet the service rep in front of me was telling me that my very expensive Platinum warranty would NOT cover my repairs...

"...because it's a hose, and they don't cover hoses..."

Now I have seen hoses before. Garden hoses, dryer hoses, and yes even car hoses. But this large conglomeration of plastic and metal and other materials...some rectangular, some round, some cylindrical was clearly not any sort of HOSE! But the man stood in front of me, and with a completely straight face, declared it a HOSE! Or rather said that since the warranty company (the one that the Suzuki dealer where I bought my car new said would cover my car bumper to bumper) said that this part was a hose, it therefore was a hose.

The people at Hogwarts would be proud. With a single word, these apparent Muggles had transformed a large car part into a hose...and what's more, had done so over telephone lines and without ever changing its appearance.

So now I am faced with the task of filing complaints against the PA Suzuki dealership who sold me the policy, an appeal with warranty company, and fraud charges with the State's Attorney in three states (PA, where I bought the car, the state where the warranty company is located, and the state in which I now live and the action occurred.) I have to submit photos of the part, file reports and make endless telephone calls.

So much for bumper to bumper...