Friday, 4 February 2011
Getting back into the game
My new husband had to take an out-of-state job, so we are to be apart for several months of this precious first year.
My car developed serious electrical problems, and I am still trying to get them fixed because buying a new car isn't in the cards right now.
My daughter is still struggling with daily health issues, and we still don't know why or what is causing them.
And in mid January, my mom passed away.
So with all of that, just keeping up with the blogs and other things I write for work took every ounce of energy I had. I opened this page a dozen times, but no words came out...until now.
I am tired. Stressed. Sometimes scared. Bruised. But I can feel that there is life beneath the surface, like a river that is starting to move again beneath its winter skin of ice. It's hard to see the change -- in fact, some days a cold, hard freeze seems to put me right back where I was. It could be a sleepless night, or a hard day at work, or something like today when I went to get my car, and found that it was not yet fixed...again.
But the freezes aren't lasting as long now. Even when they hit, I am feeling that trickle of movement underneath the icy surface...that hint of springtime. Not yet visible, and yet something I can sense in the air.
Spring is coming. Maybe not today or tomorrow or even next week. But it is heading this way. And then the words will flow again.