Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Free fall and trust

Image from Samma Samadhi
I will admit it.  I have a problem with trust.

No, not with the little things, like trusting someone else to make the dinner reservations or drive the car pool.  But with the big things.  Like trusting friends to be around when they say they will, or trusting in the universe to provide.

But most of all, I have a problem in the whole idea of trusting someone to take care of me, when I need help.

I won't go into the reasons why.  There are several, and they have left me shaky in many ways. But the why is not important.  It's the effect that matters now.

I am about to leap into a free fall.  And it will involve trusting someone to be there, to take care of me, until I can get my bearings, and find a new direction.  And I am scared.  Really scared.

I love the man I am trusting to catch me.  My husband is an amazing person, a strong, gentle, loving, caring man.

And yet....it's freefall.

I'm scared.

2 comments:

otowi said...

I can relate; it is really hard to put your life or future or well-being in hands of another person; people disappoint or hurt sometimes without even meaning to. I hope all goes well for you. But sometimes it helps to play the "what if" game - ask yourself what is the worst that could happen and sometimes it is not so bad as you think.

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