Dream house? Why not?

The other day, I posted a link to my dream house on my Facebook wall. It's a beautiful home in Boulder. The view?  Well, you can see the view.  Perfect. Just perfect.

So why did I post it?  It's not that I have $2 million in the bank, and can buy it today.  I posted it because I could at some point, have 2 million in the bank.  Or 10 million. Who knows? I posted it because it's good to dream, and to remind ourselves what it is we dream about.

It's so easy to get caught up in the day to day, focusing only on meetings at work, the grocery shopping list and what the kids need to do for homework.  Days, weeks, months or even years can pass by without us lifting up our heads (or our hearts) long enough to look at where we're going in life -- or remembering where we want to go. Some people forget their dreams for decades, only to realize one day, maybe when this life is almost over, what they once wanted to do and be but never got around to trying.

So here is my challenge for you today.  Take some time and think about something you want.  Something you dreamed about.  Make it a big dream. It could be a trip you wanted to take.  A degree you wanted to complete. Or a house on a mountain side you wanted to own. Find a picture that represents your dream, and post it somewhere.  On your wall, your door, your bulletin board or your Facebook wall. Tell the world what you dream about.  And then -- and here is the really important part -- tell yourself about it. Feel it. Dream it. Make it real, and see it happening.  Dare to challenge the universe -- and yourself -- to make it happen.

Dreams do come true.  But first you have to have the dream.  Happy dreaming!

Those who seek to control: love of power or an expression of fear?

We've all met some of these people.

No matter what you're doing, they will always tell you how to do it better.

Or what you're doing wrong.

Or what actions you should be taking that you are not.

It doesn't matter if it's a task you've been doing successfully for years, or the dress you just bought for the company dinner, or the way you've arranged your furniture. I'm not talking about someone with a specialized area of knowledge who is passionate about sharing it. These are the generalists, who would appear to know most everything about, well, everything!

They are right there offering "helpful" suggestions. Put this here, get this instead, do it this way. These aren't the mean tyrants who scream and swear and demand. These are the people who always believe that you are in need of their help to avoid a potentially disastrous result. Their "suggestions" are phrased so carefully, that you might not see them for the control efforts they are. But here are some clues...

1) The suggestions are made when you have not asked for them, nor are you expressing any distress, uncertainty or doubt about what you are doing

2) The suggestions make you feel that you must say "Thank you," even when you would rather say "Stop!"

3) The suggestions are made across of a variety of situations, from car troubles to hairstyle to classes for your kids. In fact, there seems to be no area in which they do not have something to say.

4) Hearing the suggestions makes you feel less capable, less certain or makes you feel that you must at least consider whatever they say lest they be offended.

5) They offer suggestions to nearly everyone...family, friends, your friends, strangers on the subway -- even career professionals like doctors, lawyers and others they may have hired.

And while these chronically helpful people come across as meaning well, the phrase "The path to hell is paved with good intentions" truly applies to them.

So is it a love of power? Sometimes, probably. But mostly it's fear. Self-doubt.

In most cases, these controlling people have lives that are out of control. Their own children are in trouble at school, but they are ready with advice about your parenting. They need to loose 50 pounds, but they can tell you what diet you need to follow. Their yard is a mass of weeds, but they will suggest where and what you should plant in your own garden.

So what do you do? They aren't acting out of malice, after all. But the effect can be damaging to us. Try this:

Next time you are on the receiving end of one of their "helpful" comments, say firmly but kindly that favorite-phrase of 4 year-olds everywhere:

"No thank you, I can do it myself."

And despite what they may tell you, know that you really can.

What a difference a day makes!!!

Okay...I pulled a poor, poor pitiful me post off the site, and look what happened!

1) The new owner of my condo called and said that I can stay on a month to month basis until I find something new. No deadline!!!!!

2) My bosses called me into the office for a talk...and gave me a raise!

3) I had an unplanned lunch with a friend (one of my anam caras!) and got to talk and laugh in the middle of a crazy busy work day.

4) I got to talk to my sweetie on the phone --- always a treat even though we talk every day. And I learned in last night's conversation that the fact that a call cut off at an awkward moment worried him as much as it did me! (We both thought the other had hung up!)

5) A couple of cool freelance opportunities have come up suddenly

6) Three promising apartment openings called me within the same hour...I will see all three on the weekend or next week.

7) I am going to the beach (not just "the" beach...my favourite beach!) to hear jazz and see an art festival for my birthday this weekend with my kids and my sweetie.

Flying high right now! I have to get back to work...end of the month deadline crazies are in full force, so it's back to the catalogs!

Tuss, everyone!