Tuesday, 15 March 2011
The end of year one. The start of something deeper.
We have not had the typical first year of marriage. Instead of just two of us, my new husband went from a lifetime of being single to suddenly having a wife...and kids...and a dog...and two cats. And then there are the scrapbook supplies and the books...Especially the books (Hi, I'm Lindsay, and I'm a biblioholic...) I know he didn't count on the books! (Although to be fair, if he had just counted the bookcases in my old place before we got married....)
The economy and jobs meant that we didn't go from the wedding to a honeymoon. In fact, we are still waiting for that...maybe later this year. And then in January, my husband had to move to another state to take a job so we are temporarily living in separate states and only see each other for about one weekend a month. THAT sucks...seriously.
In other ways, we are typical. We've spent time this year getting to know what it's like to live with each other. We've started learning how to meet each other needs, and balance that with our own wants and needs.
We've negotiated the important issues like how to load glasses in the dishwasher, and exactly how long it really takes to get everyone out the door and into the van. We've talked about the house we want, the trips we hope to take, and the things we want to do together in the years ahead. And it has been getting better and better all year.
But the other day, something big happened.
My husband is home for one of our all-too-brief visits, and we were talking. The subject doesn't matter. But I was so certain I was just plain correct about something. You know that feeling, right? You are just absolutely sure that you have all the facts lined up, and that there is NO WAY you could be wrong. Yeah.
And then he started to talk about the subject from his point of view And I was stunned into silence. I heard the words, but I heard something else that meant so much more....I HEARD his love. The subject wasn't love. But the words were. The ideas he was sharing came from a place of love. His ideas were different than mine to start. And then he brought in what I had been saying, and pointed out how we were BOTH right. And BOTH wrong. Suddenly, being right didn't matter at all.
At that moment, when I sat there listening to his words, and the meaning behind them, the love I felt grew infinitely deeper. I actually felt the the connection between us strengthen.
In that moment, my love for him went from what I THOUGHT was a lot to something I never even imagined.
Something so small...the discussion wasn't about anything life-shattering. Something so big...the words my husband lovingly chose shifted everything so dramatically.
Monday will be our First Wedding Anniversary. But you know what? I already got the very best gift.