Friday, 22 February 2008

Why do you love me....

That's the question Fallen Angel asked on her blog post Reasons to Love.

Most of us have been asked that question at one time or another, most of us have asked the question of our significant others. And when it's our turn to answer, we stumble through, trying to sound profound and thoughtful. Or perhaps we side-step it with humor... "I love you because you make great lasagna." That elusive "Why" is not clearly out there for most people.

But Fallen Angel was asking why we ask. She was asked.

I think we ask because we are, at that moment, looking for a reason to love ourselves. So what we are really saying is: "Is there anything lovable about me?"

So why isn't "I love you because you are you" enough?

Because at the moment we ask, we are looking for some concrete examples of who or what we are that comes across as lovable. Admirable. Worthy. That makes it a hard question to answer, even if we profoundly love someone.

Yes, coming up with an answer is challenging.

But we need to remember when we hear this question that it's an even harder question to ask, because as Fallen Angel concluded:


On the other hand, I`ve never askedthis question. Never out loud. Partly because the question implies the assumption that I actually am loved. And I wouldn`t want that illusion shattered....


(photo from Black & White. Fekete-Fehér Képek)